Puck Bunnies Anonymous

Hi. My name is Chris and I’m a Puck Bunny. Or so I’ve been told. By a lot of people. But I’m in good company. My good friend Stephanie is a bunny, too. So we’re starting our own PBA chapter. But what makes us Puck Bunnies?

I did some extensive research, meaning I spent 5 minutes Googling it, and found very little in the way of definition. According to wikipedia.com, it’s ‘Canadian slang. It’s listed as:
Puck Bunny – A young girl who pursues hockey players; a groupie of hockey players.

Well that rules me out! I’m a 34 year old married mom. I’m not young, and I’m certainly not pursuing anyone! And I’ve never been a groupie. I’m as straight-laced and boring as they come. I’m a computer geek, so everyone should know better.

Despite these glaring facts, everyone insists on calling me a Puck Bunny. Doesn’t matter how many stats I know, or how many games I see. Because I have a favorite player, and he’s not ugly as sin, I’m a Puck Bunny. Now, I’ve seen Stephanie’s favorite players, and they do nothing for me, so maybe she should lose the label.

Everyone knows who my favorite players are. I almost mugged someone to get Travis Banga’s jersey at auction, with help from my sister bunny. And I’ve got Mike Modano stuff all over the house. It’s not at all a secret. But even when I tell people that I was a fan of Travis’s before I ever saw his face, it doesn’t matter. Or they just plain don’t believe and give me that “Sure you did” smile. I was watching Travis skate at his first home RiverKings game and telling my family how well he was doing, and that we should keep our eyes on this guy. I thought that night that he was a great player and that he would do some impressive things. And lo and behold, he did. And that was when he had a helmet on. And with all the pads who can tell what these guys are shaped like underneath. So despite the fact that all I did was prove that I have an eye for spotting rookie talent, I get labeled a Puck Bunny. Unfortunately, I can’t defend my Modano fetish. I saw his face first. Of course I was younger then, so maybe I’m an recovering bunny.

Now does this mean I’m not a fan of all the RiverKings? Heck no! I think Don Parsons is so generous he’d give a sick kid the enamel off his teeth. So would Kenny Goetz, if he had any teeth. And Derek Landmesser is so sweet when my daughter runs up to him to get a hug. She has a huge crush. She’s a Puck Bunny in training. All the RiverKings have a special place in my heart.

So does this make me an even bigger Puck Bunny? I don’t just limit it to one or two players but two entire teams? What if I like one division over another? I think all that’s irrelevant. I think it’s just because I’m a woman. I see men wearing Sakic or Hull jerseys, and no one calls them bunnies. Why is that? I can’t have a favorite player because I’m a woman? Or are my favorites too good looking? Would I be more credible if someone beat Mike Modano with the ugly stick? It’s not like I walk around talking about how fabulous they look. I care about how they play. I won’t deny it, it does make them easier to look at if they don’t look like something out of “Dawn of the Dead”, but that’s not the deciding factor. If they’re good looking, it’s just gravy. Just like the men folk, I care about the game. Maybe we’re all Puck Bunnies. Maybe we should rejoice in our bunny-ness. I’ll have to talk to Stephanie, maybe we should get some t-shirts and a secret handshake. And maybe we’ll let some of you guys in on it, too.

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